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Post by Alex Weasley on Aug 17, 2008 1:46:02 GMT -5
((alright, rachael [: lovely roger/bella drabbles to make your heart melt. i love you so much!))I Fell in Love
Even at age nine, he knew his life wasn’t all that great. But today was different. Today, instead of his parents fighting and arguing all the time, today they were happy. The baby was supposed to come today. His mother and father had kept the baby’s gender a secret, but he was thrilled to find out. His mother paced as she cursed to herself, holding her back. He and his dad sat slumped in chairs. The hospital room was cold and sterile, everything his home wasn’t. But still, neither of them could hold in their smiles as his mother trotted around in pain. It would be soon—he could just feel it.
Ever since he could remember, Roger had wanted a little sibling. He was hoping for a little brother. His friend had a little brother, and he worshiped the ground his friend walked on. Besides, he liked to have someone he could play catch with sometimes, and his friends always seemed to be busy. Maybe now he and his little brother could do that, go swimming…he grinned in excitement as a nurse walked in.
“Ready?” she asked his mother, and another nurse entered, ushering Roger out. He stood at the window on his tip-toes, but his curly blonde shag only reached above the ledge. He couldn’t see a thing. He sat down next to the nurse, staring forward at his feet as he heard his mother’s screams.
He began to get worried. “Is it supposed to…hurt? That much?” he asked the nurse.
She smiled at Roger and nodded. “It’s all perfectly normal, don’t worry,” she said to him, and continued to read her Cosmo, her legs crossed at the knees.
He nodded and sat nervously as he heard his mother’s screams. His face was pale as he gripped the chair, when the nurse poked her head out. “Lorraine…we need you,” she said hurriedly, and the nurse next to him rose up in a hurry.
Roger blinked as the screams stopped, but the silence that followed was so…eerie. He could hear the yell of the doctor, and his eyes went wide. Without hesitation he rose up poked his head into the room, seeing his mother lying there motionless. He closed his eyes as the doctors worked on her, sure she was a lost case. He gently mumbled some sort of prayer to anyone who would listen, and before he knew it, he heard the little gasps from his mother.
He dared to look up as his mother came to, but his father was on the other side of the room, watching them weigh his new child. Roger watched, confirming that his sibling was alright before he ran to his mother, climbing up once the nurses allowed him to. “Are you okay?” he breathed, tears coming down his cheeks.
His mother smiled the most beautiful smile he’d ever seen. “I’m fine, Roger, everything’s okay…” she breathed, as if she was still trying to convince herself of it. Before he knew it, they brought his new sibling over.
They put the baby in her arms, and tears began to stream down her face as she stared into the baby’s eyes. After a moment Roger poked his head out of his mother’s arms, a huge grin crossing his face. No…no, that was the most beautiful smile he’d ever seen. “Her name is Isabella,” her mother said, to Roger.
“Bella,” he said suddenly. “I wanna call her Bella.” It was an instantaneous decision he made, but he knew it was the right one. His mother and father grinned, shrugged, and continued to gaze at the new member of their family.
…And It’s Beginning to Snow
Roger found himself sitting at the window, staring out at the snow with a small frown. Christmas was becoming less and less fun as each year went by, because of his parents. Their fighting had increased ten fold, and his dad’s was drinking was just unusual. Roger knew, of course, that maybe it may get better thanks to Christmas, but…there was no way his father would be up in time to watch Bella tear into presents with that wide-eyed grin. He couldn’t help but smile, remembering last Christmas when she’d gotten those roller blades she really wanted.
As he considered what he might get under the tree this year (a pack of cigarettes from his father, perhaps), his door squeaked open. He turned around, his curly blonde mop moving even after he’d stopped. His nervous face relaxed as he saw Bella in her flannel pajamas, poking her head in.
“If you don’t go to bed, Santa Clause won’t come,” Roger warned her, and subtly hid the pack of cigarettes under his leg.
“He’s not real…I heard mom and dad talking last year,” Bella mumbled, a little indignantly. She crawled up onto the window with Roger, a stuffed animal in hand. “I’m still excited about the presents, though. I can’t sleep. What’re you doing?”
Roger frowned. Well, he was going to have a smoke or two, but…this was alright, too, he supposed. He pushed back some of his hair, shrugging. “Nothing much. I’m…excited too. I hope they got me a car,” he said idly, pretty sure they couldn’t afford to buy him a car, even an old junky one. “What do you hope they get you?”
Bella considered this as she looked up, her tongue hanging out in concentration. “I’d really like a guitar. Like what you have,” she said with a small chuckle. “When are you going to teach me how to play? You said you would.”
“Soon,” he said with a grin, and he shifted slightly. “When you’re old enough to reach everything, munchkin,” he said with a grin and reached over to tickle her. She giggled into her stuffed animal, gasping out the word ‘No!’ as much as she could. After a moment he stopped, and watched her calm down a bit. “Seriously though, if mom caught you up…” he shook his head.
“You’re not supposed to be up either!”
Roger grinned. “I am sixteen. I can do what I want.” He flicked her nose before scooping her up. He wouldn’t be a good big brother if he didn’t make her go to bed. He carried her down the hall, his bare feet not making any noise against the wood floor. He finally reached her bedroom, plopping her down onto her purple-sheeted bed.
She tucked herself in with a small smile up to Roger. “Maybe after Christmas, you’ll teach me some guitar…?” she asked.
Roger chuckled, and nodded. “After Christmas, I promise, I’ll teach you guitar. Now go to sleep, before mom takes away your presents.” With that she ducked under the covers and immediately closed her eyes.
Roger got up from his knees and flicked off her light, wondering what song he would teach her first.
You Can’t Buy Love, but You Can Rent It
“It’s gotten pretty bad,” she breathed into the payphone as she stood outside her school. Thirteen-year-old Bella chewed on her lip as she spoke to her brother on the other line. She set her backpack down, other kids rushing by without a car. “I just don’t know what to do anymore. Dad’s been hitting mom a little…no, no, not me. I’m fine. I usually just leave for a few hours until he passes,” she explained, quietly.
Roger was rushing around his apartment while on the phone with her, picking it up a little bit before he came to pick her up. Neither his father nor his mother knew where he lived, of course, so she would be safe. It was obvious she wanted to leave, and he didn’t blame her. “I’m coming to pick you up and you can hang out here for a couple of days.”
“What about your roommates?” Bella asked skeptically.
“Mark’s…he’s understanding. Don’t worry about him. And Collins is, too,” Roger reassured her. “I’ll be there soon.” He hung up promptly before grabbing his keys (or Mark’s keys, really), and heading out the door. He drove fast; he didn’t need his father getting there first, after all. Now may be the only chance he got to take her away from their parents.
Finally he arrived at the junior high, unlocking the door. He honked, causing a few younger girls to look over and wink, to which he rolled his eyes. Bella pushed past a few people to hop in the car, smiling over to him. “Thanks,” she mumbled quietly before pulling out some cigarettes and lighting one with a relieved sort of smile.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Roger asked incredulously, and he snatched the cigarette away before enjoying it himself. “This, right here…this stops for you, okay? And no drinking either. And definitely no guys. Those are the rules,” he mumbled, and took in a nice drag, blowing it out the window.
They made their way up to the apartment, with Mark glaring at Roger. “I didn’t know you being my roommate also made you available to my car!” he said in a high-pitched voice, rolling his eyes. “Who’s this?”
“My sister, Bella. She’s staying with us,” he said to Mark, who didn’t argue. It was no secret at all how much he cared about his sister, after all…Mark wasn’t about to argue with him over it.
Bella nodded politely before turning back over to Roger. “So, um…I have no clothes. Or anything,” she mumbled, and raised her eyebrow. “And I’m willing to bet you have no money.”
“It just so happens that I do have money, munchkin. My band has been playing plenty of gigs,” he said with a roll of his eyes, and he smacked her lightly on her head. “Didn’t anyone teach you not to assume?” he mumbled. “We’ll go shopping, I suppose. If Mark doesn’t mind me taking his precious car?” Roger half asked, half…well, told.
The two of them spent a good four hours in the village, shopping for clothes Roger couldn’t afford. Bella walked in, surrounded by bags from almost every boutique known to man. Roger flipped through his wallet with a small groan. Nothing. “I hope you like those clothes you got, Bella, cause…we won’t be eating for a while.” He laughed, sending her into his room to unpack her clothes.
“Hopefully in a few years, that will have changed,” Mark said. “I’m hoping to get some kind of deal with this script…you wanna read?”
“I can’t. Someone should make dinner,” he grumbled, and went to find whatever they had. Collins bought the food, so it was a gamble every time. He was pretty sure the man shopped high.
“You never cook. In fact…I’m the one who cooks.” He eyed Roger curiously. “It must have been pretty bad there.”
“It was,” Roger grumbled.
That night, Roger came into his room, having set up a cot for himself. “I know you don’t really wanna share a room with your brother, but…Mark and Collins are already sharing, and I don’t need to be around them while they sleep,” he said with a laugh. “They snore and talk. It’s awkward.”
Bella laughed, plopping down on his bed, playing the guitar she’d gotten last Christmas. She strummed, before writing down on a notebook next to her. “It’s okay, I don’t mind sharing. I’m just glad I’m not around our parents again. They’re fighting is unbelievable…and dad’s drinking…” she groaned, and continued to strum a little.
Roger nodded grimly, almost wishing she wouldn’t bring that up. “Is that your own song?” he asked, curiously. “Let’s hear it.”
Bella frowned. “But it’s not…perfected. And plus, it’s kind of stupid.”
“I don’t care, I wanna hear it,” Roger said, frowning.
“I…alright. Fine.” She began playing, and Roger watched, awed. He had no idea when he taught her years ago that she would actually turn out so good. So much better than he, even. Her song was about their parents, obviously, and how they grew up. Through the song he’d closed his eyes and listened, a small smile on his face.
When she was done, Bella looked up to him. “Was it that bad?” she asked.
Roger opened his eyes and he went to sit next to her. “I hate to say it, but you’re a future musician, Bella,” he said with a grin, and placed a kiss on her temple.
I Should Tell You
A few years had passed, and they’d managed to add on two roommates; Mark’s girlfriend Maureen and Benny had both joined them. The apartment was beginning to get crowded, but everyone had noticed how much time Roger had been spending away from the apartment. Two months had gone by, and before their eyes, Roger became a different man…he was out all night and sleeping all day.
Bella was, of course, worried. On one day he was actually in and awake, Bella sat in her room, trying to quietly go through some of his things. What if he was drinking, after all? Or…worse? She poked through his sock drawer, expecting to find a bottle of something awful, but found something even worse. She groaned, pulling out a needle and a baggie full of drugs, and she knew precisely what they were.
When Roger came in to get ready to “go out”, Bella was standing with her hands on her hips and the drugs on his bed. “What the fuck, Roger!” she yelled suddenly, and she shook her head. “I just wanna know why you think you can do this and get away with it.”
He rolled his eyes. “I really don’t need my little sister telling me what to do, you know,” he grumbled, and he grabbed the drugs and needle, rolling his eyes. “What I do, you don’t need to concern yourself with.”
“I do if it’ll kill me!”
“It’s not going to kill me!” he yelled, and ran a hand through his hair before rolling his eyes. “Look, Bells. I had a surprise for everyone, okay? I don’t wanna ruin it by getting into a fight,” Roger said with a frown. “Let’s just drop it and talk about it later.” He put a hand on her cheek but she shrugged it away.
Bella plopped onto his bed and took her guitar, playing it. He lingered it for a moment before he walked off, returning a few hours later. Bella was waiting on the couch, next to everyone in the house, just as they said they would. Roger walked in with a young woman on his arm. At once, everyone seemed to zero-in on the redhead’s left ring finger, and how it had a nicely sized ring on it.
“This is April,” Roger said with a grin. “My fiancée.”
The whole room froze, before Collins finally broke the tension to congratulate the both of them, a wide grin on his face. Benny followed, leaving Mark, Maureen, and Bella to glance awkwardly at each other.
“So this explains it,” Mark said flatly, shaking his head.
“What a moron,” Maureen added, untangling herself from Mark to go and congratulate the two of them.
“Yeah, but…” Bella mumbled, and she smiled. “He’s happy. For once. Can’t you tell?” she said to Mark, looking up at her brother’s eyes. Maybe this was a silly decision, but she could see the glow in him. It was especially impressive because he’d obviously been taking drugs.
“Well, he’s happy now,” Mark mumbled, and left to congratulate him as well. Bella was, for once, positive. She was positive her brother was happy with April, and nothing could bring him down.
It’s Going to be a Happy New Year
Roger woke up. His head was pounding. His eyes focused on the clock in front of him, wincing when he saw what time it was. It was too early for him to be awake! The clock flashed ten o’clock in front of him. He haphazardly rose up from the cot in his room, rubbing his eyes. He’d drank too much, partied too much…but he had to say. Their little party last night escalated quickly in an all-out sort of thing. He stumbled out of his room, looking around and seeing a few people he didn’t even know passed out in his living room. Roger shuffled to the bathroom, one sock hanging off of his foot. As Roger opened the door and saw his April lying there on the ground, surrounded by her own blood, he froze. After tearing his eyes away from her limp body, he saw a note she’d left.
“We have AIDS”
It all went by so fast. The ambulance picked her up, finally. Thankfully, her parents were dealing with the burial. That night, Roger sat down on his bed, staring down at his feet. He felt cold…mostly because he hadn’t taken anything yet today, but the image still stained his brain. He heard the door open and he saw Bella. He wondered if she knew just her being here made him a little stronger…being brave for her was one of the only reasons he wasn’t curled up in the closet sobbing his eyes out.
“Hey, munchkin,” he mumbled to her. She plopped down next to him, and he felt her arm snake around his body. He grinned down at her—obviously not a very legitimate grin, but a grin anyway—and he returned the gesture. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
“Me?” Bella asked, and she frowned. “Roger, you’re the one…” she sighed, exasperated. “Just focus on you, for once. Okay?” she asked, but he didn’t answer.
“I’m gonna stop doing drugs,” Roger mumbled, and finally looked up to see her, offering her a small smile. “I’ve just…had enough of them. And what they do to people.” He looked down at his arms, at the virus pulsing through his system. He hated himself. “I want you to start sleeping with Mark.” Bella blinked. “No, no…you know what I mean. Because I’m…well, you’re not going to get any sleep with my detoxing.”
“But I wanna help you.”
“Look, I said no.”
“You’re not my father!” Bella said, and she shook her head. “I’m not going anywhere, Roger. Okay?” He didn’t answer again, so she put her head on his shoulder, nudging him a little. “Alright?”
“Okay,” Roger grumbled, and he rolled his eyes. “Go hang out with the others…I just wanna be alone.” Bella frowned but rose, hesitantly leaving him there alone. After a moment of waiting outside his room she heard slow guitar music, but then he put down his guitar, violently. Bella wanted to listen more, but was ushered away by Collins.
Bella woke up during the night, glancing at the clock. Four in the morning. Beautiful. She closed her eyes to go back to sleep when she heard the quick breathes of her brother. She listened closely before she moved over, onto his cot, and lay awkwardly next to him. But it wasn’t as awkward as it seemed—she wrapped her arms around him, and although she expected to hear him stifle his little sobs, he let them go.
“Not a word about any of this,” he grumbled to her before he put his arms around her, kissed her temple. “Promise, Bells?”
“Promise,” she mumbled back, and the two of them smiled.
Roger…This is Your Mother
Two weeks before Christmas, Roger sat, staring down at his feet. He always seemed to hate Christmas…or did he? He honestly couldn’t remember. He watched as Mark and Bella hung up Christmas decorations, no doubt for Collins, whenever he was coming back. He eyed his guitar in the corner, gathering dust…he hadn’t played it in a while. His band had split up shortly after April’s death. Or rather…they left him. He wasn’t into music anymore. The only music he could stand was Bella’s.
He smiled as she showed him an older decoration, one they’d had since they were kids, when the phone ring. As usual, they let the machine pick it up. Roger, Mark, and even Bella’s voices were heard saying “Speak!” through the room.
“Roger…this is your mother. Your father’s coming over there to get Bella, and I just…wanted to warn you.” Her voice was even mousier than he remembered. Frowning, Roger rose up and grabbed his coat, wanting to get Bella out of there as quickly as he could. “He’ll be there very soon, so if Bella wants to stay away…she should go, now.” And his mother hung up.
“Come on,” he said to her, when someone banged on the door.
“Roger Clarence, you open this door immediately and give me back my daughter!” he yelled, angrily, and attempted to open the door.
“Hurry!” he snapped. “Mark, you keep the door closed, or I’ll break your camera in half,” he snapped, and he half-shoved poor Bella out of the fire escape. About halfway down, though, the knocking stopped. Mark stood there stupidly, going to warn them, but they were already almost down—and so was his father.
“Roger!” Mark called, but it was too late.
He watched the scene play out. Mr. Davies pulled Bella towards him and yelled at Roger, probably about basically kidnapping her a few years before. Roger yelled back and, and then Bella joined it…but was told to shut up promptly. Mark sighed, feeling helpless.
“You are not her father. You don’t need to treat her like it, you’re her brother,” Mr. Davies said angrily, pulling Bella behind him. “You took her from us, Roger, and you left us…what, a message, saying she was okay?”
“And she was okay! She still is! Much better than with you and how you drink, and hit mom,” he snapped.
Mr. Davies’ eyes seemed to narrow as much as they could. “You don’t know that.”
“Why would Bella lie about that?” he asked, shaking, and he pushed back some of his hair. “Just let her stay with us. She loves it here, don’t you?” Bella nodded quickly.
She was ignored, though. “She’s my daughter. She’s living with me until she feels she can move out…and that is not now. Look at you, you’re as skinny as a stick, probably can’t even afford food. What about her? She looks just as sick,” he snapped, even though that was not true at all. “Say goodbye, Isabella.”
She was pulled off, without much say in the matter. “I love you, Roger!” she yelled before she was practically tossed into a car.
Roger stood there, helplessly, his mouth open. He couldn’t do anything. Before he knew it, his father was driving off with his baby sister, and he bit his lip. He walked back up to their apartment, glaring around. Mark was dutifully silent, and left the room for Roger. Out of anger, he tore down the decorations, not wanting anything to do with Christmas—not without his April, and not without his Bella. Roger went back into his room, and didn’t come out for nearly two days.
Until Your Heart Expires, I’ll Cover You
Two years since April had passed—one since Mimi had gone—Roger found himself in the hospital. He used to think he was invincible…and now look at him. Pale, and hungry…suffering the same fate as Mimi. He looked down to Mark who was talking quickly about his new film, as if he’d be alive to see it. Roger listened vaguely, but was more thinking about who was supposed to be coming today.
“…film festival. Even Maureen is coming. You okay?” he asked, and waved his hand in front of Roger’s sunken eyes.
“Ooh. Yeah. That’s cool,” he said to Mark and offered a small smile, sitting back a little. “Well, I’ll try my best to make it…you know. If I’m not worm food.”
“Don’t say that!” Mark said suddenly, and tears even gathered in his eyes.
Roger pouted his lip and squeezed Mark’s cheek. “Awww, little Mark Cohen is crying…”
“Hey, come on,” he said, pushing Rogers’ hand away. “Stop it, okay? You’re not doing well, and I’m sad because of it. Sue me.”
“I wouldn’t live long enough to see the end of the suit,” he said with a shrug, and Mark hit him. “Hey, it’s not my fault you have no sense of humor about all of this,” Roger said defensively.
“No sense of humor about my best friend dying?” Mark asked incredulously, when Bella entered. Mark nodded to Roger after a moment, and rose up, leaving. He put a hand on Bella’s shoulder before he left completely.
Bella sat down next to Roger. “How long?”
“Days,” Roger responded, and he looked down to his lap, before grabbing a hold of Bella’s hand. “Look…when, you know…I want you to go live with Mark. It’s all already taken care of. Collins is back, too, but he’s living in Mimi’s place with Izzy…you know, Angel’s little sister. She pulled a you,” he said with a laugh, and he squeezed her hand.
Even though Roger was laughing, Bella couldn’t hide her tears. After a moment she climbed into the bed with him, which he expected. He put a tired arm around her easily, closing his eyes as he laid there, listening to her cry. “Hey, Bells. Listen.”
“I told you this would hurt you!” Bella yelled, suddenly. “I told you this would hurt you, and now look at you…look at you! You’re dying!” she continued, and even hit him once, bruising him a little bit.
Roger winced, but took it. “I know, but these things happen.”
“That’s stupid, this is your fault!” she yelled. Tears streamed down her face as she laid there, her heart beating faster and faster. Bella looked up to him as he smiled…he actually smiled at her. Why was he smiling?
“I love you. I loved you from the day you born,” Roger said with a small smile, in spite of how angry she was and how much she was crying. “Alright? Just…remember that, okay? Just remember that.”
“Roger.”
“And don’t do anything stupid. I’ll be looking down on you…or up on you, depends,” he said with a little smile. “Promise me, okay? Just promise me.”
“I promise.”
Bella smiled up at him, through her shaky bottom lip, and he smiled back. He held her until he fell asleep, though he was still alive. After a while Bella exited, and even though Mark had tears in his eyes, Bella was happy. That was all she would ever need from him. ((and noooooooww...some icon theater fun. by allison.))
 : ooh hai rachael fancy meeting you here.
 : ...we're on the internet.
: ...ooh hai rachael. fancy meeting you on the internet.
: HAI!
: HAI. what's up?
: i'm defs not drooling over a supernatural/twilight/otherfandomallisondoesn't know...guy. sup with you hoebag?
: D: you right. anyway. not too much. definitely not drooling over a guy old enough to be my father.
: ...
: ... :D!
: :D !
: anyway. now that we're here, let's fulfill our life long dream.
: to meet the joker && two face and have surprise secks?
: ...STOP READING MY DIARY.
: >D
: no. let's sing 'take me or leave me'.
: but we is on teh netz.
: ...why you crush my dreams. WHY.
: we meet outside teh netz?
: BRB.
: BRB TOO.
----------A POTATO CHIP!-------------
 : ohhai! -irl-
 : ooh! you wore your joanne costume!
: and you wore your maureen costume!
: you know what that means >D
: ...harveydentsurprisesex?
: ...HE'S OLD ENOUGH TO BE OUR FATHERS.
: D: !
: EVERY SINGLE DAY, I WALK DOWN THE STREET~
: ...i hear people say, so sweet!
: ...mypartttttttt.
: don't get bitchy.
: don't get maureen-y.
: ...D:
: would you rather sing glinda/elphaba songs, our OTHER dream?
: i would, but the actual me doesn't feel like making icons for them.
: ooh okay. anyway.
&& : TAKE ME OR LEAVE ME~~
: ...o_O;;
: IRL WAVELENGTH~
: >D hahahahaha. anyway. how did you get here?
: me and megan jacked a car, but then we were viciously run over by a monster truck so then i had to go to the hospital with her where we met a squirrel named victor, and he took us both to a palace called shibombayland, where we played on inflatable horses, ate sherbet-flavored butterflies and watch will ferrell movies. then victor said, well, your fun minutes are up! so then he brought out of shibombayland, and into portugal, which is obviously a long way away from where we are now--
: where are we?
: don't interrupt me. so anyway, portugal. then we had to bribe the portugese pirates with our bodies, which they took and we had lots of sexy time while i thought of plots for kallie. they brought us back to new jersey, and then we realized that we had to get to here.
: where is here D:
: hey, shut up. so then we hitched a ride on a cheetah and a raptor the size of your red bull's penis, respectively. And we rode that here.
: what about that car behind you? and what happened to megan?
: the raptor and penis got hungry. -shrug- how did you get here?
: ...i took the highway, mostly. anyway. woah, we changed back. how did that happen?
: neil patrick harris!
: <333! hey! your hair is curly!
: ...-dies-
: -revives with practiced ease- i've been reading extra harry potterz.
: but you can't revive people who're dead harry potter canon!
: ...asdfghjkl inferi?
: i like mints.
: who?
: nvm. hey, did you notice we're on a volcano?
-dead-
that's what would happen if we ever met.
...wtf?-------in hell-------- harvey dent & the joker & rachael & allison:
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Post by Teddy Lupin on Aug 17, 2008 5:31:52 GMT -5
SAMILY♥ hey, are you beautiful?
and were you sent here to love me?
hey, are you warm inside?
cause my nights are cold
cause my days are alone
can't believe my eyes
this metamorphosis
right before my eyes
a change took place
“Come on, Sam,” Leah sighed, grasping at his warm hand and lugging him forward. There was no threat behind the yank of her arm- at five foot five Leah Clearwater was an unlikely contender for Sam Uley, who stood an almost full foot over her. Manic growth spurts were becoming steadily increasing in the tiny town of La Push, tucked between the horror and magic of Forks and the ocean that seemed to never end, pooling deep into the horizon. Of course there was rarely a time where you could differentiate the edge of the ocean from the sky as they were both often the same murky, downcast shade of gray. Even after a biting cold front the weather was as rocky as ever. Tomorrow there would probably be snow.
A low chuckle rasped from Sam’s throat and he let Leah drag him up the steps. It had been a long drive, a lot of gas, but it was worth it if Leah was happy. They had just started going steady and it seemed the ideal time. While Leah finished her senior year, Sam would work and save up for a college dream so unlikely he might as well as have been hoping for sunshine. There was still the chance of a scholarship but Sam had learned you couldn’t really bet much on chance alone. When Leah graduated they’d move to Seattle, get a place together, go to college- it was the dream Sam had dreamed of for as long as he could remember. Some might have called it a dull life, desires inbred from watching a father work eight to six at a shop his father started. It would only be one’s hope to go to college and make something of their life beyond that. But Sam didn’t like to think of it that way. These were his aspirations. It was his life.
Leah had a large family outside the tiny one that harbored in La Push. Four cousins alone on the Makah reservation and from what he had heard from the stories, they were all as lucky to scare the shit out of him as the last one. Rory with her mood swings, Cassie who never stopped texting and Emily, who would no doubt surely grill him and make sure he was in her cousin’s best interests. His stomach was a bundle of nerves and despite the confidence he was renowned for, Sam was scared. But he’d do this for Leah because he lo- ..well, he liked her a lot.
The night went as he expected. A parade of pretty sisters, either ignoring him or eying him with suspicion. At least Mr. and Mrs. Young left him well enough alone. It was looking like the night was going to go without incident when Leah offered to go help Mrs. Young clean up and he was abandoned, left alone in the living room. It was then that he first really met Emily Young.
She offered him a shy but tight smile, hovering behind the couch. With a small sigh, he prepared himself for the onslaught. She was only looking out for Leah’s best interests, he knew. He didn’t blame her. High school guys like him could be assholes. Only Sam really did like Leah. He had never had any intentions on hurting her, or cheating on her, or pressuring her for anything. Only how did you explain that to your girlfriend’s best friend without coming off as too self-assured?
“You live in La Push with Leah?” she asked quietly, face carefully expressionless.
He rocked back on his heels and smiled back. “Yeah, a few blocks over.”
She nodded, thinking, before blurting out- “Look, I don’t want to get into your business or anything, but if you hurt her…” she trailed off, looking apologetic. “Please just don’t hurt her. You’re her first real boyfriend.”
The words seemed silly. Of course he would never hurt her! But if it would put Emily’s mind at ease…
“I’ll never hurt her,” he promised, and it sounded authentic enough that a look of relief passed on her face.
Of course he couldn’t have known he would hurt Leah, and Emily, too, pull the bonds of blood and sisterhood apart like a split thread. It would never have been his intention.
It was just simply and horrifyingly, fate.
♥
Two weeks as less than man changed Sam and it was obvious to everyone around him. In the woods went a boy with the world in front of him and out came a man with the world on his shoulders instead. It hadn’t been a fair trade. He had always known the world wasn’t fair, but this wasn’t life. It was something else pulling his strings, something else pulling away his choices and leaving him to a narrow path that surely led to a death defending a land he had never before held any claim to. Not until now.
Leah chose to ignore the changes she saw in her boyfriend, scared of what they meant and worried and he wished so much she wouldn’t. He could never tell her, she would never understand. They just had to make it through the rest of the year- it would be cruel to break up with her right before finals. It was the most he could do. Like everything else he just didn’t have a choice anymore. Everything seemed to have been predetermined long before Sam was even born.
Lose your scholarship, lose Leah, lose your free will. Lose any chance at what you wanted. Don’t even bother giving it up- we’re already taking it from you.
And what did he get? A responsibility so large he felt weak under the weight of it. He was a freak among humans. Hell, was he even human anymore? The truth of it was Sam walked alone on the road his ancestors had paved for him and even though he wanted to turn around and run back the other way, he couldn’t. And he wouldn’t. It was better him than anyone else. He could do it.
The drive to Makah was quiet and tense and Leah spent most of it on the phone with a friend from school. When the finally arrived at the Young house the sun was making a feeble attempt to escape from a flock of rain clouds and birds chirped, hopping around cheerily in the fresh, damp lawn. There was a sudden urge to kick one of them. Damn birds. They would get to die- Sam had to live with this for longer than eternity. If only there was something to see, something to know and something he could have that wasn’t slowly breaking him apart when he needed to stay together more than ever.
And of course, of course that one thing would be Leah’s cousin.
The weeks from the time of his disappearance and eventual discovery left Sam a lost soul, wandering aimlessly into a dark light that held not one appealing factor. Death or immortality, wolf or man, none of it mattered. None of it mattered until Emily traipsed down the steps, smiling at her cousin, and then the whole world crumpled apart. Everything he had ever known to be true had been ripped away but they could take away even more if it meant one more second before her, one more moment to look at her shining face and see the only true sun that could ever exist, the sole thing he could revolve around.
As his world fell apart she hugged Leah, pulling her back to look at her, exchanging words of greeting. And Sam couldn’t stop- it was rude to stare, but the only thing he could do was take in the angel that had surely fallen from heaven into the rainy Olympic peninsula. He wanted to give her the world, his world, every world she could ever imagine or dream of or want. He wanted her. He wanted the smile on her face to never end, or the light from her eyes to never die. He wanted those eyes to look at him the same way he knew he was looking at her right now. There had never been such a want, such a need before. Not with Leah, not with college- she was everything.
When Emily looked over at him absently his whole world pieced itself together, and in the center, the middle, the end, there was only one thing.
Her.
♥
Billy Black calls her his imprint. It’s strangely appropriate. It feels like she’s stamped herself all over his heart, and his thoughts and his dreams. Every face besides hers is a blur, every voice is like the rush of a river in the background while hers is the call of the most melodious songbird, calling to him, the sun shining brighter and the air clearer and the whole world a thousand times more beautiful but not nearly as beautiful as she is.
Time races by in a similar blur. He hurts her, a mistake, something he should have been able to avoid. But the scars that mar her face don’t taint anything but his conscious and she’s still Emily, and now she knows everything. And she wants him anyway. How it’s possible is beyond Sam, similar to this whole mess, but its okay because she’s with him and she doesn’t want to go, even though she should. She should have run away a long time ago and he would have insisted it if it wasn’t like asking her to take his air supply away. The Earth would turn, the sun would burn, but without her, he would die. Without her, there was no will to live, there was no will to move or smile or breath. Asking her to leave was just…improbable.
She stays and he does everything he can to please her, to make her happy. She wants to wait for marriage. She wants to get a home in La Push so she can be nearer to him. She wants a little garden in the backyard. So he waits with no hesitation, he helps her move with a smile plastered on his face and euphoria in his heart, gets in the dirt on his knees and digs up the ground, replacing the weeds and grass with tiny, delicate tulips that lean their faces to the sun. He kisses her, holds her, falls to her every wish. Miraculously, she seems to like him. If things could stay like this forever, even with the new boy and all the questions his heritage arises, he would surely trade in anything for it. Would give the whole world away for one more second basking in the glow of her forgiveness, of her glory.
She’s scared, worried for the gangly teenagers he orders around, scared for him more than anything else. He takes her to the small river near the house, holds her close and watches the water flow like silk over the rocks, watches the moon hang steady in the sky. Even on a cold night there is no need for her to wear a jacket or huddle in a blanket. She leans into his warmth and doesn’t shiver even when the water splashes at their feet. She says she is never cold anymore. He only wishes he could keep her warm forever. For a while there was no will to live, or at least the want of a life with a normal span. Now he has to survive. For her, he has to live. No matter what the Cullens do he has to come back alive. He just has to.
“What if something happens? What if they break the treaty?” she asks softly, looking up into his eyes. He could look back into hers forever- filled with a reflection of every ounce of love he has for her, the most beautiful brown- the brown of the forest he protects, the brown of the home he loves, sprinkled with the night stars and the moon, bright as her smile. He cradles her face in his hands, tilts her face up to his, runs his fingers through the shiny threads of black hair that seemed to themselves hold a whole universe, the night sky spilling across the glossy locks, the sun in her heart hidden away in the darkness of the possible war. He wants her to smile and it doesn’t scare him, not one bit to know how far he would go to make sure not one more tear was shed from her eyes.
“They won’t,” he lies, because he knows it will reassure her. “They won’t, honey. Nothing will ever hurt you,” he promises.
“Oh, Sam!” She looks upset again and he backtracks, wondering what he said to upset her. Stupid stupid stupid, idiot, moron, he chants in his head, heart beating wildly, hovering carefully over her in concern. She doesn’t seem to notice and continues. “Sam, I’m not worried about me!” She cups his jaw and leans his face down and there is no need for the force, he moves so willingly. “I’m worried about you. If something happened to you..I…I-“ she breaks off with a slight sob, hands raised to her face. “Oh, I’m sorry, it’s silly, I shouldn’t be crying-“
Gently he pries her hands from her face, her lovely, beautiful face, the face he sees every time he closes his eyes. Gently he presses his lips to hers. “Emily, I love you,” he breathes, and he’s always known that, ever since he first saw her, and he’s said it before, but it’s really the only thing that makes sense at the moment.
He doesn’t expect her to answer- she hasn’t said it back, the inevitable prolonged, because surely they belong together, surely it is meant to be. And if she doesn’t love him he will become whatever he needs to become so that she will.
Tonight though, she kisses him, hands tangling into his hair with a passion she has reserved and a passion he keeps quiet. When they break apart she strokes his face softly with the back of his hand, every meaning in her eyes, every thing he could ever want in his arms.
“I love you, too. So much. So don’t leave me. I’d die without you,” she whispers.
“Then I won’t ever, ever leave,” he promises, and this time he knows it’s a promise he can keep.
♥
Emily bakes the most delicious food possibly ever made. Sam would think he was biased but it has to be true, the way Jared and Jake gobble down the food by the platefuls, always asking for more. Sam is okay with anything Emily does, of course. More than okay, really, more like completely and totally awed by her every decision, but anyway- when she decides that she just doesn’t have time for work anymore he agrees, though worries.
“It’s really not like you have to stay home, Em. The boys can eat at their own houses,” he says, following her around as she dusts the house, tidying this and that, straightening picture frames of her family and his.
She sighs, turns on her heel and gives him a weary look before swatting at his leg with the duster. “Sam Uley, so help me God, if you do not leave me alone about this!” But she’s laughing and he can only grudge up tiny bits of guilt for bothering her.
“I like being home. I like cooking, I like cleaning- it’s much more…fulfilling than work could ever be,” she continues as she returns to her work. “I couldn’t ask for anything more.”
He leaves her alone about it and she seems happy enough to erase any of his worries. He sees in the Pack’s minds that she is happy, and through their eyes he sees the way she looks at him when he’s not busy looking at her, and hell, if that isn’t love, he just doesn’t know what is. And he’s never been so happy, with the Cullens gone and the Pack no longer growing and Emily, he would be happy as long as she was near and safe even if the world was falling apart. But everything feels like it’s falling perfectly into place, like pieces of a puzzle. He can’t believe he ever thought of this life as a burden rather than a light, a life that surpassed that of anything ordinary. A life anyone would surely do anything to have. And he didn’t have to do anything!
And it isn’t as if he has any real complaints about her cooking, anyway. One day coming home from patrol he finds her in the kitchen, stirring chili around in a large pot and flipping a batch of eggs in the other. She knows he’ll eat eggs with just about anything, that and muffins, but blueberries are out of season until next week,
Silently walking up behind her, he wraps his arms tight around her waist, placing a kiss to the top of her head. Usually Emily likes this but today it causes her to flush and drop her spoon on the ground. It clatters there on the ground for a second before Sam quickly snatches it up and places it on the counter, giving his fiancée a concerned look.
“Everything okay, Em?” he asks, rubbing his hands up and down her arms.
“Oh! Yes, of course,” he murmurs hastily, looking at the spoon before returning her gaze to him.
“Should I go?” he asks, and if anything survived the change from boy to man, man to wolf, it was his slight arrogance in events like these. God help him, he’s smirking and she’s blushing even harder now.
“No! No, it’s okay! Could we just…” she trails off, leaning up for a kiss, and he meets her eagerly.
Needless to say after the first kiss they can’t really stop. The chili burns. Neither seems to care too much.
♥
They get married. It’s the best day of Sam’s life.
Emily looks…he doesn’t even know how to say it. She was always beautiful but in the big white dress, hair away from her shining face, the ring on her finger- it makes her glow even brighter somehow. He didn’t think it was possible but he loves her more than ever. Seth greets them with a ‘Hey Mr. and Mrs. Uley!” and he practically explodes- not from anger but from pride and happiness and love.
They dance, and she presses cake into his face. He makes peace with Embry- or really, as close to peace as they can ever get. Paul and Jared get into a fight on the beach, Leah meets Annie’s cousin and…he doesn’t really remember the rest of that, because today doesn’t belong to Leah, it doesn’t belong to anyone but him and Emily. And it’s easy to remember when he spots her across the hall and she’s smiling and examining Embry’s wedding present.
Sam has enough sense to open Jared and Kim’s gift before Emily can. It’s a suspiciously normal cookbook. Giving Jared a suspicious look, the other is immediately offended. Kim is easier to crack.
“We figured you didn’t need condoms because you want kids and all, so…” she trails off, takes another sip of champagne, and sort of stumbles over to Jared. And then all Sam can think about is the fact that Emily will be his, all his, and…well, the night can’t really end fast enough after that realization.
Finally everyone wanders home, Embry drunk and Annie and Jake walking hand in hand on the beach, and it can’t really have a better ending, because it feels like everyone is exactly where they’re supposed to be. And soon he will be, too, in Emily’s arms, or really, vice versa. He doesn’t have time for details.
They drive away in the truck- it’s a shabby ride but it’s the only one Sam has. Emily doesn’t seem to mind. She’s changed from her dress into a pretty yellow dress and he almost gets into five accidents because he can’t keep his eyes off her. Finally he manages to make himself focus, knowing he could never possibly put Emily in danger like that, even if she’s his wife and he wants her right now.
They don’t have the money and Sam doesn’t have the time for a luxurious honeymoon. He rents out a room at a cozy bed in breakfast at the Makah reservation so Emily can see her parents and Cassie after the honeymoon. It’s a small but nice place with blue-painted walls, tiny bluebells in a cracked vase on the small wooden table in the corner of the room, near the bed, and that’s about all Sam notices because he was only really looking for the bed anyway.
He carries Emily through the door- it’s not their house but it feels right, carrying her, anyway. She kisses him, deep and meaningful, telling without words that she is his and he is hers forever. That no matter what happens, nothing can change this. Nothing can erase it or rearrange it or break it. Their love is the strongest in the world it feels. Sam knows no one could ever be as happy as he is right now.
He knows no one has even come close because no one has had Emily before.
and I'd like to take you home
cause I've been so alone
would you fill this empty space
with your lovely face?
-the pierces |
|
x
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I just wanted to say I love you and you're awesome and I will drink draino like that guy in Supernatural (OMG GROSS I KNOW) if you leave so betch, no leaving. I like being alive/having insides/etc.
: ...omg where am i. and why am i driving a school bus full of money instead of children. AND WHY AM I THE JOKER. ooh well. i act out movie >D bwahahahaha. i has teh money and teh guns! and i killed them dead. bwahahahaha. wait where goes my scene--
: WHO THE EFF ARE YOU GUYS BEING ME? -kicks some ass- i'm batman, betch~ now who's under this mask--CILLIAN MURPHY? -hotflashes-
: asdfghjkl. ooh alright. but just because i have a huge lesbian crush on you bruce wayne.
: WTF SOMEONE STOLE ALL THIS MONEY DRESSED UP LIKE A CLOWN. my kids r fine. how're you, mr. bat m. an?
: -iz an awesome lawyer-
: i make ur way to chiiiiina >D and it is guuuuuud. bai...ily D:
