we built it up to watch it fall ;;

[Kalypso Malfoy]

Title; We Built It Up to Watch It Fall
Rating; R for language
Characters; Kalypso Malfoy & Calhoun Selwynn. Mentions of Deucalion Malfoy and Sheliya LeStrange.

'Kay. So, so if Kallie and Cal had dated long than a few weeks, this is really how I picture it would have ended up. I apologize for the sadness and cursing. It's old, so it's kinda crappy, but, xD

Not many people in this day and age know how true heartbreak really feels. Girls swoon and cry and lock themselves in their rooms for hours just because a boy won’t take her to the movies, or said he didn’t like her the way she liked him. Boys get pissed because their girls won’t have sex with them, and dump them because of it. That’s not heartbreak; it’s not even close.
Very few people know what it feels like to have your heart ripped out and shattered into thousands of people. Calhoun Selwynn, however, was indeed one of them. He had fallen in love with his best friend, and she had brushed him aside. He chased after her after that as well, for months and months, but she used a few of her tactics to continue to brush him off; either ignoring him, or just playing the cruel bitch she’d grown to be. Kalypso Malfoy had changed from when he had first met her; that much, at least, he knew.

She had been the first girl to ever quite catch his attention. They became the closest of close friends, and he could rely on her for anything. Soon, their relationship developed into something more–friends with ‘benefits’. It had been a little awkward at first, but he grew to know her body better than he knew his own. She had proclaimed it to be ‘just sex’, and while he had felt like that for a long, long time, feelings, of course, started to develop.

Calhoun knew he always had a little crush on the younger girl, but that crush developed into an obsession. He wanted to always be there, and her smile made his heart melt. After about a year of sleeping together, he’d concluded he loved her. Kalypso, however, didn’t believe in love, and Calhoun knew that well. She had her mother to blame for that one, as love had never been given to her from that side of the family, and while she would never admit it, that had hurt Kallie dearly. She was convinced that love would never do anyone any good, and it would just cause more pain.

After her fifteenth birthday, Calhoun had decided that hiding things from her would be useless, though he didn’t have it in him to tell her. One night, a night that would forever be imprinted in his memory, proved that he should not have told her at all. She had rambled on about some boy she had a crush on, and he had been silent throughout the whole thing; not giving snide remarks as she’d expect, or maybe even tips on how to get with him, as the two were friends. She had looked up at him with those pretty blue eyes: 'Oh, come on, we're just fucking! It's not like you love me or something!' He had stayed silent, and stiffened a bit. Her mind worked quickly, and she sighed and disentangled herself from his grip. And so, with that Kalypso Malfoy got out of his bed with a few final words. 'Why'd you have to go and do that?' had been her initial reaction, angry, though her words had soften as she dressed. 'It was fun, Cal, but it needs to end now.' She'd nodded as she reached for her things. 'L'amour? C'est rien.' And with that, she had left him, heartbroken and alone, with those last words.


an empty room can be so deafening, the silence makes you wanna scream, it drives you crazy. i chased away the shadows of your name, and burned the picture in a frame, but it couldn’t save me. and how could we quit something we never even tried? well, you still can’t tell me why.
we built it up to watch it fall, like we meant nothing at all. i gave and gave the best of me, but couldn’t give you what you need. you walked away, you stole my life just to find what you’re looking for. but no matter how i try, i can’t hate you anymore, i can’t hate you anymore.

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He had gotten very drunk that night, after she left, and continued to chase her for months. She had ignored him throughout the first half of her fifth year, and his seventh. She’d either see right past–or right through–him to other people, and just pointedly ignore him. If she felt like it, she’d turn into the bitch she’d grown to be and tell him off. That never quite swayed him, as he was persistent, and refused to give up. However, he did after a while, simply leaving her to himself, and looking for means of distraction himself.

He started womanizing more than he ever had, which was truly a shock as he had been quite a lady killer –- using girls from a few years below him to a year above, seeing them only once or twice (always sex, never a date), only to just throw them away soon after. He didn’t linger too long on one girl -– he didn’t want to get attached. Getting attached ended in heartbreak; he had learned that the hard way. Drug usage went to the extreme, and so did alcoholic tendencies. He had sex, drank, smoked, and shot up. A daily ritual that he got tired of quite quickly, though one didn’t give up on. It dulled his pain, if only for a little while, and helped him along.

However, despite this, girls came flocking to him whenever he was alone. He supposed that, despite his habit of breaking girls’ hearts, they wanted an opportunity to be with him. After all, who wouldn’t? He was charming, very charming. And also rather handsome with the looks he’d inherited from his father, and thankfully, he’d skipped the awkward stage his father had gone through in his pre-teen years. Calhoun was, indeed, a catch. He only slept with certain girls -– they had to be good-looking, of course, but they also required decent blood. And, while those restrictions may have been strict, he still got around and back again.

Of course, right when things were starting to go good for him, she sends his world upside down. Cal had given up after a good while, though his heart was still mending; he thought he might have left it with her. He loved her still, though tried to hide the love under hate. She’d broken him, she didn’t deserve his heart. While his mind bought it, his heart didn’t, and continued to ache.

After those six or so long months, she stopped ignoring him after what seemed like years. Smile and waves, a few words. The two started talking soon after that. Their friendship was reinstated as though nothing ever changed, though he was still broken. Talking to her hurt her more than he’d imagined, but he put up with her. He’d never hurt her, even though she’d practically killed him. She meant the world to him -– he wouldn’t hurt her because it would hurt him even more. Bringing her pain was something he’d never be able to do.

As fate would have it, however, Kalypso went to him when she was drunk -- very drunk. One thing turned to another, and the next thing he knew, he was waking up next to her. The relationship they’d bad before was there again, and Cal knew it couldn’t last long. He wouldn’t get hurt again; he couldn’t. He refused to let Kalypso Malfoy break him again, not when he spent all those months trying to heal.

you’re not the person that you used to be, the one i want, who wanted me. and that’s a shame, but there’s only so many tears you can cry before it drains the light right from your eyes, and i can’t go on that way. and so i’m letting go of everything we were; it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.
we built it up to watch it fall, like we meant nothing at all. i gave and gave the best of me, but couldn’t give you what you need. you walked away, you stole my life just to find what you’re looking for. but no matter how i try, i can’t hate you anymore. sometimes, you hold so tight it slips right through your hands. will i ever understand?

“Caaaal,” came the whine from behind him, and tiny arms wrapped around his middle and tugged him back against their much smaller person. He couldn’t help but smile, a very nice addition to his already handsome features. He loosened the younger girl’s hold and spun around to face her, eyebrows raised in slightly amusement.
“Yes’m?”
“I’m bored.” A pretty smile lit up her face, and she looped an absent arm around his neck. “Can you fix that?” She was never subtle; he’d learned that years ago. He thought it over, absently twirling a light blonde curl of hers around his finger.
“We’ll have to check the dorms to make sure your brother isn’t there,” he said, though nodded all the same. “I don’t want him dismembering or castrating me.” He shuddered at the thought, and she simply rolled her eyes. “Give me a few minutes to finish things up here and I’ll meet you up there if all’s safe, alright? If he’s in there, just say you needed help with homework or something.”
“I’m not stupid,” she mumbled, rising up on tip-toe to kiss him quickly before sliding out of his hold and leaving the library. She sent him a final grin and a cute little wave before heading off, and he rolled his eyes, moving to put his books away.

“I’m good at distracting people,” she commented after the two were finished, absently tracing her name onto his chest with her left forefinger. “I told him that Shels was relapsing. She has been lately, a lot, and I never promised I’d keep it a secret.” She giggled a little, absently curling up even tighter up against him. “He can’t be pleased, 'cause he’d be back by now if he was.”
“You’re evil,” came Calhoun's reply, followed by a chuckle. His arm around the younger girl tightened and he pulled her closer, closing his eyes with a soft sigh. It took all the guts he had to say what he had to say next. He’d been thinking it over for weeks, and he had to get it over with. He had a feeling that he knew what the outcome would be, but he had to get it over with.

“I love you,” he murmured, and he winced when she stiffened in his hold and lightly pulled away. She frowned up at him and sighed.
“Calhoun, mon cherie, you really need to stop doing that.” He moved to get dressed, and he tossed her the button-down he’d been wearing, shrugging into a tee-shirt himself. She pulled it on, frowning. “Calhoun, you know I care about you, but–”
“I’m not taking buts anymore, Kals.” He offered her a hand up, collecting her clothes for her and banishing them back to her own dorm. He started towards the stairs, and she followed after him, blinking.

“Kalypso Malfoy,” he started, and she felt her blood slowly turn to ice. She knew where this was going–she didn’t like it. “You were the first girl that I [ever cared for, and–”
“No.” She shook her head, the smile she pulled on disbelieving. “You’re not doing this. You’re not the one who leaves. You’re the one who comes crawling back.”
“Not anymore.” He watched as she raised her eyebrows and crossed her arms over her chest, pausing in the door way leading to the Common.
“Uh-huh. Right.”
“I’m serious, Kallie.” Calhoun ran a hand through his already messy hair, shaking his head. “If you can’t love me, I can’t be with you. If you can’t say three simple fucking words to me, I can’t do this anymore.”
“Cal, I don’t love people!” Kallie felt her heart pound and she felt sick. He couldn’t be doing this to her. She felt the stinging behind her eyes as well, but she blinked it back. What was this..feeling? Rejection? She wasn’t used to it. But, she was learning slowly that it was heartbreak. He was killing her softly and slowly, and he didn’t even know it. “L’amour–”
“C’est rien. Love is nothing. To you. Kallie, you drive me nuts. I love you so much–I always have! And I’m not going to sleep with you, or be with you, if you can’t tell me the same. I can’t let you hurt me like this.”

“Cal..” He started walking away, and she hurried after him. “Calhoun!” He ignored her and continued on, out of the Common Room. She felt the tears well up and fall over. “Fine!” She called after him, feeling and hearing her voice crack. “If that’s what you fucking want! Fine!” I love you. I love you. Je t’aime. Je t’aime. Jesus Christ, I fucking love you, can’t you see it?

She felt the sobs build up and looked up, wincing when she spotted her brother and close friend Sheliya LeStrange.
“Kallie..” They both started together, but she shook her head and ran up the stairs to her dormitory, slamming the door behind her.
And for the first time in her life, Kalypso Malfoy cried herself to sleep over a boy.

we built it up to watch it fall, like we meant nothing at all. i gave and gave the best of me, but couldn’t give you what you need. you walked away, you stole my life just to find what you’re looking for. but no matter how i try, i can’t hate you anymore, i can’t hate you anymore..[/color][/size][/blockquote]